My Gastric Bypass

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal."
- Hannah More

2 Years and 2 months out, and I am down 200+ lbs. See my Ball pic with Hubby... and other recent photos!

Before and After... wow huh? March 2002 to May 2004

**This website has not been updated since 2004. Since this has happened I have gotten a divorce, and yes I truly believe that this surgery had a lot to do with the divorce. I am currently finishing college and getting my life together living my dream in a cabin in the woods of Alaska. I still would NOT ever change what i did again, and everything here is still good information! PLEASE just make sure this is what you need before you do it. And continue with the psychological aspects with BOTH you and your spouse.**

This is a journey that I felt I needed to share with the world. A journey of self love, of visions of worth. This is the ultimate act of love for me.

Gastric Bypass surgery, what is it? Carnie Wilson showed the world including me, what it was. It certainly was a lot different then the stapling of stomachs. It included dieting, eating right, and learning to eat basically like a diabetic. Protein will be my friend for life!

Why did I decide to do this? I really HATE my body, hate the limitations I have set on myself by letting my emotions and mental barriers get in the way of good health. "Oh you got raped? Well Taco Bell and a BIG box of wine shall fix that!" "Wahoo you just had a GREAT date, well celebrate with a nice steak and a potato with ALL the fixings!" Food had become SUCH an intricate part of my life! I ate when I was bored, when I was sad, mad, happy, lost... I ate to solve it, and you know what? It did not make a difference!

I decided after the last diet I was on, to NOT worry. To not make FOOD the issue, but to make my emotions the issue. I struggled, and still do, with that. Though I am still heavy, and have gained more weight, I am more in TOUCH with WHY this is happening, there for I am able to take this surgery like a bull by the HORNS and DO!

THIS is for ME, for the children I want to chase, for the husband who's lap I want to sit in without an 'oooof', for the mountains I want to learn how to climb, and the rivers I want to raft, for those horses I want to ride again, and the mountains I have yet to ski down. THIS is for my LIFE, a chance to have a helping guide, to get me where I need to be, to face my life head on and just DO IT... THIS.. Is the SINGLE greatest act of love I have EVER done for ME!!!

Use the above buttons to navigate through the site. I will be adding more to each every day I can. My surgery date is May 14th, and drawing nearer and nearer by the minute. I am OK some days and others I am a mess... Please join me on my journey...

I wrote a pretty serious letter the day I was going to the doctors, please read if you want. Perhaps you are ready to hear it all. I read it now and cringe, and tear up. It is a hard story to hear even when it is my own... please.. If you would like, read on, maybe it can help.